If you haven’t read the previous article about Anna, I recommend reading that first.
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First of all, thank you so much for all your thoughts, prayers and little notes of encouragement. Whether they arrive on our blog, on facebook or by email, we are reading each one and God is greatly using them to comfort us. I never in my life imagined having to live through a day like yesterday, let alone go on living in the aftermath afterwards. We are parents without a child here on earth, and a big hole has been left in our hearts. Some of you know exactly what it feels like.
Since none of you will ever get a chance to meet Anna Rebecca outside heaven, I wanted to share with you some of the highlights from yesterday. And I wanted to share some photos with you, so you can see beautiful Anna Rebecca. I also wanted to share with you how we are experiencing God’s grace in the deepest ways. Also, it’s a chance for me to talk about the daughter I’m so proud of, who I never met alive outside of Ruth’s womb.
I used to talk to Anna while she was in the womb, and while I couldn’t see her I told her how we were getting everything ready for her arrival, how she was going to grow up to be a woman of God, what happened that day and how much we loved her. Ruth eventually prohibited me from talking to her right before bed, because Anna would kick and move around for several minutes afterwards and Ruth couldn’t go asleep! I had to move my “Anna Time” up in the day.
How quickly eager expectation turn into the valley of death. A number of things really helped us through the day yesterday.
- Having both parents here was a huge blessing and great support. They were such a help, providing verses, wisdom, stories and their love.
- Holding Anna was something I’ll never forget and I will always thank God for those few precious moments.
- My love and pride in Ruth went up about 20 notches yesterday. What a amazing woman! I told her there’s no one else in the world I would want to go through something like this than with her.
- A number of days ago, a couple different people had similar visions, each involving Grandpa and Grandma Huber in heaven, receiving Anna with great joy.
- The word that God gave my father-in-law was that from Exodus 13:12, where God asked for the first fruits of children and animals. And the promise afterwards was that of great blessings.
- It’s been amazing to get emails and notes from several people saying that God had laid us on their hearts within the last couple of days to pray for us (this is while everything was still “fine.”) Even people I hadn’t talked to since high school mentioned they had found our blog recently and felt burdened to pray.
- I think most of all, in the most horrible day of my life, I experienced a depth of God’s love and grace that I have never known before. I also understand a little better God’s great love for us. I remember holding Anna’s lifeless body and saying “Live, daughter, live!” My heart cried out for my daughter – and it still does. I thought of God the Father, who’s heart breaks for those dead in sin to whom he says “Live!” That word “Live!” cost God his first and only Son. But through Jesus, God has opened the way for millions and billions of more sons and daughters to “Live!” I am firmly believing that not only will we have other healthy children, but many children will be born into God’s family, and hear the heart of the Father say “Live!”
I, like so many other parents who have experienced similar things, I don’t think I will understand anytime soon why Anna had to be taken from us. But I do believe, as the Bible says in Romans 8:28, that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to his purpose. I also believe that there are some extraordinary surprises awaiting in heaven for those who have suffered – things so great that if we knew, the grief would be but a passing shadow. Once again, the Bible says (I Cor 2:9) “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” Sounds like some great surprises to me! I know I can’t wait to meet Anna. Will she be full grow, or a baby when I meet her? Will I recognize her? I’m sure I will, she’ll be the really cute one! Will I still miss her here on earth? Absolutely.
We really covet your prayers, they are making all the difference. Please continue to pray for us during the difficult days that lie ahead. God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good!